Join one of our exciting, day-long, training workshops and learn how  to  become  a  facilitator  for  the  ‘Healing the Hurts of Capitalism’ project.

 

For information about upcoming workshops please contact us.

 

 

 

 

Guidelines for ‘Healing the Hurts’ Support Group Leaders:

 

A ‘Healing the Hurts’ support group is based on the understanding that we all need a safe space in our lives in which we can think and feel without fear of criticism or judgement. When we experience the undivided attention of one or more people our natural emotional healing processes automatically start to work.

 

We may talk about things which have upset us, or a problem we need to solve, or we may focus on a specific question asked by the group’s convenor. Sometimes emotions may rise up and we will cry, or laugh, or yawn whilst we are talking. All this helps clear our minds of distress which has built up inside us, weighing us down or confusing us. We come away feeling lighter and more able to think about our situation. Because we have also listened to other people, we often feel less isolated and more connected with others and this makes us stronger.

 

When we do this regularly, the safety will build up and we will find it more and more useful. Although this sounds simple, the safety will only happen within a very tight structure and agreed-upon ground rules. The groups must be led by someone who will create this structure and make sure the ground rules are kept.

 

The Ground Rules:

 

Confidentiality: what is said in each person’s time is completely confidential. No one refers to it again, even in their time, except the person themselves.

 

Everyone has an equal amount of time during which no one interrupts or comments on what they are saying, but maintains an attitude of respect, interest and delight.

 

The expression of emotion is welcomed and even encouraged. It must not be confused with the painful events from which the person is trying to recover. Conversely, it should not be expected that everyone will have the same degree of access to their emotions, especially at first. Talking freely is in itself very useful.

 

Creating the Structure:

 

• Invite between four to eight people you like to join you in a ‘Healing the Hurts’ support group.

 

• Decide on a time and a place which suits you all. The place must be private, and is usually someone’s home. You need to meet for at least fifteen minutes per person (the bigger the group the longer you will need).

• Encourage people to be punctual.

• You may or may not offer refreshments before or after the group.

• Make an agreement every time you meet that the things shared in the group remain confidential to the person who said them, are not commented upon by other members of the group or ever referred to again (other than by the person who said them, if they wish).

• Sit in a circle as close as you can. If you are comfortable with it, holding hands will add to the safety for everyone.

• Go round the group and ask everyone to say something that has gone well lately, or something they are pleased with. Share their pleasure but do not start a conversation about it.

• Divide the remaining time up equally between the numbers of people present, leaving about 10 minutes for a closing circle.

• When these groups are starting up and people are not used to using this kind of attention, it can be very useful for the convenor to ask a question for everyone to answer in turn. This question must require an answer which is personal, not general. For example it will not work to ask “What do you think are the problems with capitalism?” or “Is competition a good thing?” The question must be along the lines of “What impact has capitalism had on your life?” or “What was your earliest memory of competition?”

• Set a timer and go round the circle giving your undivided attention to each person in turn. They can use their time to talk about anything they want if they are too preoccupied to answer the initial question. The leader may ask individuals further questions to encourage the person to say more, or to allow themselves to feel the feelings that they have been holding in, e.g. “How did that feel?” Have a box of tissues available for those who need them.

• The leader also takes a turn and is a ‘peer’, not an ‘expert.’

• For the last ten minutes let each person take a turn to say something they are looking forward to doing in the near future. Say farewell and remind people of the next meeting and make sure people say if they are unable to come.

 

You may want to follow this with a bit of less structured time, but it is not necessary, and may tempt people to forget the confidentiality agreement whilst chatting over a piece of banana cake.

 

Once set up, do not invite new people to join without consulting the whole group.

 

No one is responsible for anyone else in the group, however ‘desperate’ they may appear. The purpose of these groups is to empower each person to take control of their own lives, and to bring about the changes they need. Our confidence that we can do this is part of what will make the group work.

 

Holding hands and hello / goodbye hugs can be very helpful, but they should not be forced on people.